Songfic's of life
by Gurlynicole
Summary: Ch 1: kiss the girl Ch 2: i told you so Ch 3: a little too not over you
1. Kiss the girl

Kiss The Girl

Olivia Benson clapped as the half-drunk Alex Cabot finished her song at the bar. The guys were buying them all drinks to celebrate their No-work weekend beginning. Her, Alex, Munch, Fin, Elliot, and Casey wouldn't have to work for the next 3 days as a tribute to their hard work. Olivia and Elliot looked at each other and smiled. Alex was slowly coming back to the table swaying a little on her feet. "Liv, your turn!" exclaimed a very drunk Casey Novak. Olivia rolled her eyes and said "I don't think so Casey!" Elliot however said "Liv, give it a try. It could be fun" She sighed and stood up. "Go, Liv!" Fin yelled. She rolled her eyes again, but kept walking. She walked onto the stage and a semi-familiar melody played. It took her a few seconds but she realized what it was. 'Kiss The Girl', Elizabeth, Elliot's daughter, loved this song. She took in a deep breath and began:

_**There you see her**__**  
**__**Sitting there across the way  
She don't got a lot to say  
But there's something about her  
And you don't know why  
But you're dying to try  
You wanna kiss the girl.**__  
_

Her eyes were glued to his. Silently telling him to come over there and just kiss her already!!

_**Yes, you want her  
Look at her, you know you do  
It's possible she wants you too  
There's one way to ask her  
It don't take a word, not a single word  
Go on and kiss the girl (kiss the girl)**_

He sat there wondering if she really wanted to him to kiss her. He wanted to kiss , hold, and love her. Did she feel the same?

_**  
Shalalalala  
My oh my  
Looks like the boy's too shy  
Ain't gonna kiss the girl  
Shalalalala  
Ain't that sad  
it's such a shame  
Too bad, you're gonna miss the girl  
go on and kiss the girl (kiss the girl)**_

She wished he would hold her, love her, and kiss her. He saw all this in her eyes and looked down at his beer then back up.

_**Nows your moment  
Floating in a blue lagoon  
Boy, you better do it soon  
No time will be better  
She don't say a word  
And she wont say a word  
Until you kiss the girl (kiss the girl)**_

**_Shalalalala  
My oh my  
Looks like the boy's too shy  
Ain't gonna kiss the girl  
Shalalalala  
Ain't that sad  
it's such a shame  
Too bad, you're gonna miss the girl_**

"Listen to her El, she wants you! Get your dumb-ass up and kiss the girl!" Munch whispered to Elliot. Elliot sighed and stared at Olivia.

_**  
Shalalalala  
Don't be scared  
You better be prepared  
Go on and kiss the girl  
Shalalalala  
Don't stop now  
Don't try to hide it how  
You wanna kiss the girl  
Go on and kiss the girl  
(kiss the girl)  
(oh, ohnoo..)  
(kiss the girl, kiss the girl)  
Lalalala, Lalalala  
Go on and kiss the girl  
Lalalala, Lalalala  
Go on and kiss the girl**_

"He's right Elliot, she loves you. Get up and show you love her too, or you'll lose her" Fin whispered. Elliot sighed and stood up.

_**  
Shalalalala  
My oh myyyyy  
Looks like the boy's too shy  
Ain't gonna kiss the girl  
Shalalalala  
Ain't that sad  
it's such a shame  
Too bad, you're gonna miss the girl**_

She watched him walk to he stairs by the stage and wait there. What did Munch and Fin say to him?

_**  
Lalalala, Lalalala  
(Go on and kiss the girl)  
Go on and kiss that girl!  
Lalalala, Lalalala  
(Go on and kiss the girl)  
Go on and kiss the girl  
Kiss the girl  
(Kiss the girl)  
Go on and kiss the girl**_

Applause filled the room as she finished, she smiled and stepped of stage, she was shocked when she felt Elliot grasp her hand as she walked down the steps. She turned around to face him and he was so close she was almost knocked off her feet . "Liv" he whispered and took her face in his hands. She didn't pull away like he thought she would, instead she leaned in until their lips were only a centimeter way from each other.

"I love you" he whispered.

"I love you too" she whispered back and he leaned into kiss his dream girl. More applause filled the room and it didn't stop them. Air, however, did. They finally pulled away gasping for air.

"That was worth the wait" she mumbled as he slid him arm around her waist.

"I know" he agreed.


	2. I Told You So

**I Told You So**

**E.P.O.V**

Six weeks. I have not seen her in six weeks. She ran away from me. She ran from me because she was scared. Scared of letting down her guard. Scared of letting me get closer to her. She loves me, I love her, but she still ran. God, I miss her. I miss those eyes, that smile, and I miss everything else about her. Why? Why, God did she have to go? I think about this every day since she left, but I still have no answer. I want her more than I have ever wanted anything in my life. I have been heartbroken ever since she left. I never smile anymore, unless I'm thinking about her. I don't go out with the guys much anymore either. Tonight Fin,John, Don, and Casey had pretty much dragged me out to some fancy bar for a few drinks. We sat in the front of some kind of stage. I was thinking of the night she left.

_Flashback:_

"Olivia, what are you doing?" I asked as I watched her pack her bags. She turned around to face me with tears streaming down her lovely face.

"I....I'm leaving, Elliot. I don't belong with you. I can't be like Kathy. I can't . . . " she whispered and looked into my eyes. NO, no! This could not be happing to us! Not now, we were happy and in love. .

"Liv, I don't want you to be like Kathy. I want you to be you, be the woman I fell in love with. I love you, and you belong with me. I don't want anyone but you, I don't want you to be someone you're not." I said, strode across the room and took her in my arms. I knew what she was doing, she was scared and she was trying to run. She had run once before and she took my heart with her. I don't want to have to live without her again. Once was enough for a lifetime.

"I'm not right for you, Elliot." She whispered against my chest. She was lying to herself, I know it. I can't let her go, not this time.

" You are completely right for me. Olivia, I can't live without you. I'm nothing without you. I've never loved anyone as much I love you. You can't go. I need you here with me. Please, I'm beggin you, don't leave me again." I said as I felt sobs rock her body in my arms. I wouldn't stop her, if this was what she really wanted, but I know it wasn't. She was scared and trying to make herself miserable.

"No, I'm not right for you." She said and pulled out of my arms. She stared into my eyes and I could see the fear, and pain she was desperately trying to hide. This was the worst moment of my life. Right in front of my eyes, the woman I loved more than life itself was convincing herself she wasn't right for me and that it would be best if she left.

"Please, Liv. I love you, don't go. Not again. Please, don't." I whispered and pushed a piece of hair out of her face. I kept my hand on her face and she closed her eyes.

"I love you too," she whispered and pulled away to finish packing. There was no stopping her now. Once her mind was set on something, she wouldn't let anyone stop her. No matter what. This truth, broke down my defenses. I let tears escape my eyes as I watched her. I couldn't say anything. I was frozen. Once she was finished and almost to the door, I finally was able to move. I grabbed her arm.

"Stay. For me, please. I don't care if you think you're not right for me. Your still all I want and need. Don't go" I said my voice layered with tears and pure agony. She could not hold back the sob that signaled the breaking of her heart.

"Just let me go. I . . . I love you so much, but I have to go. Please . . . just let me go." She whispered her voice breaking in almost every word. I let go of her arm and whispered one last agonized goodbye.

"Goodbye, Olivia. I love you too, more than words can describe. Please, come back when you're ready. You will always be the best for me no matter what anyone says. I'll never want anyone as much as I want you. I'm gonna miss you so much." I whispered and kissed her check. I could taste her tears.

"Goodbye, Elliot. I promise I'll come back when I'm ready. I'm gonna miss you too." She said and pressed her lips gently against mine, before turning and walking out of my life. This was a nightmare.

_End Flashback_

"Elliot, are you all right man?" Fin asked as he set down a bear in front of me._ No,_ I was never all right anymore. As long as she is gone, I'd never be all right.

"As all right as I can be" I said and took a sip of my bear. Fin nodded.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~**O.P.O.V**

Six weeks. I have not seen him in six, long, painful weeks. I ran away from him. I had run away because I was scared. I was scared of letting him get closer to me. If he did, he'd have the opportunity to break my heart. I wasn't good enough for him. I didn't deserve him. God, I miss him so much. Why did I leave? Why didn't I listen to him when he begged me to stay? I hurt him, there was no dening that, and I hurt myself. I want to go back to him, but I'm afraid. Afraid he won't want me anymore. Afraid he found someone else. Afraid he doesn't love me anymore. I have been staying with Simone, my brother, for the last few weeks and I got a job as a singer at a fancy bar. I always preform the same song last everynight. I Told You so.I always dedicate to him. Tonight is my last night, I am going to go back to work at the 1-6. My vacation is over and I have to go back and face him. I can't belive I let him go.

"Now, preforming her final song of the night, Miss Olivia Benson! As always she would like to dedicate this song to a wonderful man that she left out of fear of heart-break." She hears, takes a deep breath and steps out onto stage. She stands in the middle of the stage. She hears the audience clap, but she is focased on the man sitting right infront of the stage. Elliot. Oh. My. God. Elliot. She wants to cry when she sees the look of pure pain and confussion on his beautiful face. He can't belive his eyes, the woman that broke his heart and that still he loved was standing right infront of him. Olivia. His beautiful Olivia. Her lovely face is full of pain. She hears the opeaning melody begin and she looks straight at him as she begins.

_**Suppose I called you up tonight**_

_**And told you that I you**_

_**And suppose I said I want to come back home**_

_**And suppose I cried and said I think I finally learned my lesson**_

_**And I'm tired of spending all my time alone.**_

She watches as the hurt fell from his face and only confusion remained. There was something in his eyes she couldn't read. She sang only to him and she hoped he would understand that she was singing about them. He looked into her brown eyes and his heart melted. She was singing about them and he wanted to tell her to come home, where she belonged.

_**If I told you that I realized you're all I ever wanted**_

_**And it's killing me to be so far away**_

_**Would you tell that you love me too**_

_**And would we cry together**_

_**Or would you simply laugh at me and say...**_

She felt a single tear slip down her cheek. She wondered what he would say to her when he figured out she was singing about them. She wondered if he would laugh at her. He saw a the tear fall down her face and he wanted to jump up there and do something, anything, to make her happy again.

_**I told you so, I told you so**_

_**I told you someday you'd come crawling back**_

_**And asking me to take you in**_

_**I told you so, but you had to go**_

_**Now I've found somebody new**_

_**And you will never break my heart in two agan**_

His eyes watered as he listened to her sing. He understode now. She thought he didn't want her anymore and he found someone to take her place. No one compared to her in his eyes. She wasn't sure if he was upset over her pain or the pain he was going to inflict on her. Maybe both.

_**If I got down on my knees**_

_**And told you I was yours forever**_

_**Would you get down on yours too and take my hand**_

_**Would we get that old-time feeling**_

_**Would we laugh and talk for hours**_

_**The way we did when our love first began**_

_**Would you tell me that you're missed me too**_

_**And that you're been so lonely**_

_**And you've waited for the day that I retured**_

_**And we'd live and love forever**_

_**And that I'm your one and only**_

_Of course I would, _he wanted to tell her. He'd do anything to make her happy. Anything in the world. He nodded to her once and she was shocked. Did he still want her? After everything she did to hurt him?

_**Or you say the table's finally turned**_

_**And would you say...**_

_**I told you so, I told you so**_

_**I told you someday you'd come crawling back**_

_**And asking me to take you in**_

_**I told you so, but you had to go**_

_**Now I've found somebody new and you will never break my heart in two again**_

_**And now I've found somebody new and you will never break my heart in two again**_

The audience clapped again. She watched as he stode up and walked to the end of the stage. She walked toward him and he grasped her hand as she walked down the stairs.

"Can we talk?" He asked softly and she nodded. He led her outside quickly. Once they were outside he let go of her hand and stode against the wall. He looked down and she closed her eyes.

"I'm sorry." She said softly and he looked up. She opeaned her eyes. The pain had returned. He stepped away from the wall.

"Why? Why did you leave?" He asked and a tear slipped down her cheek. He reached over and whipped it away, but kept his hand on her face.

"I was scared. You could have broken my heart, and you would have broken it the most. I guess I broke it myself." She said and another tear fell over onto him hand.

"Yours wasn't the only one, Liv." He whispered and she looked down.

"Do you know how bad you leaving hurt me?" He asked and she looked up again. She saw the pain in his eyes.

"I'm sorry. So sorry." She whispered and before she knew it, he had pulled her into his arms and she was crying against his chest.

"Shhh . . . I forgive you . . . It's okay . . . shh baby . . . shh." He said as she sobbed against his chest. She continued crying and held her tight against his chest.

"I love you, Elliot. I'm sorryI hurt you." She said when she could talk. He pulled her closer and she looked up at him. He swept a peace of hair out of her face. It felt like he was flying. She still loved him. He smiled down at her.

"I love you too, Olivia. I forgive you." He said and kissed her forehead. Her eyes closed and she put her head back against his chest. For the first time in weeks, she was happy. He loved her, he still loved her after everything. She pulled out of his arms and smiled up at him. He leaned down and kissed her, letting her feel exactly how much he missed her, how much he loved her. He pulled away and took her hand. He led her back inside and she put her head on his shoulder. He had missed this, these simple gestures of love. They walked in and John, Fin, Casey, and Don looked at them and smiled. They were all happy Elliot and Olivia were together again. They had all missed Liv.

"Olivia, glad to have you back. I don't want to see either of you tommorow, however. Both of you, come back in two days, ok?" Don said and Olivia smiled.

"Yes sir." She said snuggled closer to Elliot.

"Yes sir." Elliot repeated and looked down at Olivia. The love between them was easy to see. It was obvious to anyone how much these two loved each other. Olivia looked up and smiled at Elliot. Don smiled, Olivia was like a daughter to him and she had finally found love. If anyone could love and protect her, it was Elliot. He wouldn't trust anyone else to love her as much as Elliot. No one could make her as happy as Elliot did.

"Elliot can I talk to you for a minute?" Don asked and Elliot glaced up at him. He leaned down and whispered:

"I'll be right back, baby." In Olivia's ear. She nodded and pulled away to embrace Casey. Elliot followed Don to the bar. He turned around and looked Elliot in the eye.

"You hurt her and I will kill you. You ever cheat on her and Casey, John, Fin, and I will kill you." He threated and Elliot smiled again. He had no dought that Don meant what he said. He knew that they all would kill him if he hurt Olivia in anyway.

"I won't hurt her, or cheat on her, Don. I promise. I will take care of her, no matter what." Elliot said.

"You really love her don't you?" Don asked and Elliot nodded.

"With all my heart." Elliot promised and walked away, back to his Olivia. Elliot smiled at her as he approached. She turned around and wrapped her arms around him. He wrapped his arms around her and leaned down to kiss her. Applause fill the room but they didn't brake apart. They were finally togther again and no one exsited anymore. They were finally happy again.


	3. A Little Too Not Over You

**A Little Too Not Over You**

Elliot Stabler sighed as his thumb gently stroked the picture of his ex-girlfriend, Olivia Benson. He still missed her, he still loved her. They had broken up nearly three mouths ago, and he still hadn't gotten over her. She seemed like she was over him, she had a new boyfriend already. Why the hell couldn't he get over her? _'I still fucking love her, that's why!'_He thought sadily. Why the hell did have to hurt her the way he did? Why did he have to push her away?

He sighed again, because he knew the answer. He pushed her away because he loved her too much, and it scared him. He hurt her because he knew she was too good for him, he didn't deserve her, and he proved it by hurting her. Why couldn't he just accept that she loved him, no matter what?

He closed his eyes and set down the picture. Maybe he still had a chance with her. Probably not, but just maybe. He opened his eyes and looked down at the paper on the table. He'd write her a letter and hopefully he could figure out how to explain exactly how he felt to her. He'd never been good at sharing his feelings, but he had to try, it might be the only way to get her back. He picked up a pen and stared down at the paper. The words came to him quickly as he bared his soul. He hoped with all his heart that she'd at least forgive him.

* * *

A soft knock awoke Olivia from her nap. She sighed and stood, but wobbled and had to grab the couch for support. Damn whiskey. Drinking and passing out on her couch had been a ritual since her ex-boyfriend had broken her heart. She sighed and shook her head. She wouldn't, couldn't, think of him. She walked toward her door and opened it slowly. Huh. Hadn't someone been out here? Then, something at her feet caught her eye. She looked down, a letter? She reached down and grabbed it, it had no return address.

Her heart speed up when she recognized the familiar handwriting. Him. He'd been right outside her door. She had to steady herself again. What could he want? She realized she'd been standing in her doorway for several minutes. She looked around again, before backing back into her apartment.

She wouldn't have made it to the couch if she tried, so she slid down the door until she hit the floor. Her hands are working of their own accord, opening the letter, taking the paper out and gripping it tightly. She closes her eyes and lets her head fall against the door. Part of her wants desperately to read his letter, see what he has to say to her, but the other part of her doesn't want to know what he has to say, doesn't want to read his words, only wants to be angry with him. He'd been so hurtful to her. Why did he deserve to try and apologize?

She sighs as she opens her eyes. She needs to know what he wrote.

_Dear Liv, _

_I know you hate me, with good reason, but I'm sorry. I know you shouldn't forgive me, but I just needed to tell you. I've never been good at describing my feelings, but here I go._

_It never crossed my mind at all  
That's what I tell myself  
What we had has come and gone  
You're better off with someone else  
It's for the best, I know it is  
But I see you  
Sometimes I try to hide  
What I feel inside_

_And I turn around_  
_You're with him now_  
_I just can't figure it out_

_Tell me why_  
_You're so hard to forget_  
_Don't remind me_  
_I'm not over it_  
_Tell me why_  
_I can't seem to face the truth_  
_I'm just a little too not over you_  
_Not over you_

_Memories_  
_Supposed to fade_  
_What's wrong with my heart?_  
_Shake it off, let it go_  
_Didn't think it be this hard_  
_Should be strong_  
_Moving on_  
_But I see you_  
_Sometimes I try to hide_  
_What I feel inside_

_And I turn around_  
_You're with him now_  
_I just can't figure it out_

_Tell me why_  
_You're so hard to forget_  
_Don't remind me_  
_I'm not over it_  
_Tell me why_  
_I can't seem to face the truth_  
_I'm just a little too not over you_

_Baby, I regret_  
_Everything I said_  
_No way to take it all back, yeah_  
_Now I'm on my own_  
_How I let you go_  
_I'll never understand_  
_I'll never understand_

_Tell me why_  
_You're so hard to forget_  
_Don't remind me_  
_I'm not over it_  
_Tell me why_  
_I can't seem to face the truth_  
_I'm just a little too not over you_

_Tell me why_  
_You're so hard to forget_  
_Don't remind me_  
_I'm not over it_  
_Tell me why_  
_I can't seem to face the truth_  
_And I really don't know what to do_

_I'm just a little too not over you_  
_Not over you_

_I love you, Liv. I know you probaby don't care, but I do, and I always will. I just wanted to let you know how I really felt, no holding back this time, because you deserve at least that. I know I hurt you and I'm more sorry than you'll ever know. I miss you._

_Love,_

_Elliot_

_Damn him._ She thought as a tear slid down her cheek. How the hell could he have known the exact right words to say?

She sighed and closed her eyes, she couldn't be angry with him anymore, not after he poured his heart out to her. She still loved him too much to hurt him like that. She opened her eyes and stood. She needed to see him. She dashed out her door quickly, letter still in her hand and down the stairs. She didn't care how she was dressed, if he was even home, or if she was still crying, she needed him, now. She runs out the door when she sees him walk to his car.

"Elliot!" She calls desperately. He stops abruptly and turns to look at her.

* * *

Her heart is pounding in her chest when she reaches him. When she stops, he looks down at her with pain, and a very small bit of hope in his eyes.

He can't believe she is here, standing right in front of him, crying, and holding his letter. He didn't know whether to be happy she was there or scared.

"Elliot." She whispers and steps a little closer. His breathing is erratic, and he knows she can tell. He takes a very small step closer, she doesn't move.

"Olivia." Her name spills out of his mouth of its own accord. She takes a few steps closer. Something about the look on his face and the way her name rolled off his tounge, compels her to move closer to him.

She's too close now, way too close. He still craves her touch, but he's afraid that if he reaches for her, she'll leave, or he'll wake up, realizing it was all a dream.

"El.." She breathes and his breathing becomes more erratic. She reaches out hesitantly, and gently grabs his hand. He tears his eyes away from hers and looks down at their intertwined hands.

"Did you mean it? What you said before you left?" He asked softly, without looking up. She closes her eyes in regret. She had told him she hated him, that she never wanted to see him again. Of course she was lieing, she had only wanted him to hurt as bad as her was.

"No, of course not. I could never hate you, no matter what evil things you say. I may not like you for awhile, but I couldn't hate you, I love you too much to hate you." She answers, her voice just as soft as his was. She jumps slightly when she feels his other hand slip into hers, but she relaxes quickly when he looks up at her. His eyes are different now, there is less pain in them and more hope, but they change back when he remembers something.

"What about Johnny?" He asks softly. She sighs, how to explain this to him?

"Johnny was only a small distraction. I wanted to see if he could keep my mind off of you for a little while, but he only reminded me of you. He was nothing like you and I thought that that would be good. But it only made me miss you, made me miss everything you use to do." She said and looked down.

"Did you ever kiss him, or sleep with him?" The question has slipped out before he could stop it. She sighed again.

"I always stopped him if he tried to kiss me, I knew it wouldn't feel the same, and I never wanted to sleep with him. I couldn't. Not while I still loved you. I knew it wouldn't be right." She said and looked up at him, he seemed pleased with her answer. He gently squeezed their intertwined hands.

"Liv.." It was his turn to breathe her name, and her breathing turned erratic, just like his had. His hand left hers and sneaked up to touch her face gently. She takes a step closer, and looks up, into his eyes. She begins to tremble slightly when his other hand leaves hers and cups her cheek. His eyes are very hopeful now, and hers are soft and willing, she wants him to kiss her, he can tell.

He leans down slowly, smiling when her eyes shut, but stopped an inch away from her lips.

"El." She whimpered and gasped softly when his lips crashed against hers. Her arms came up and wrapped around his neck, holding on tightly. She had always loved the feeling of his lips on her, anywhere on her. He pulled away slowly, he needed air.

"Please, don't stop." She whimpered, and he groaned slightly, that sounded too sexy. He leaned in again, and kissed her harder, and pulling her tighter against him, he needed to feel her, every inch of her completely against him. He needed _her. Her._ He wanted to have her forever.

"I'm sorry I hurt you. Can you forgive me, Liv?" He asked when he pulled away again, and rested his forehead against hers. He needed to hear that she forgave him. Her eyes opened and she looked up at him.

"Of course I do, El." She said softly, and pressed herself closer to him. He closed his eyes and held onto her tightly. _Please don't let this be a dream._ he prayed silently.

"It's not a dream, El. I'm right here, and I always will be." He hadn't realized he'd spoken aloud until she spoke. He hated how vulnerable she made him. She made him feel thing he'd never felt before.

"Promise?" He asked softly, his entire world resting on her next words.

"I promise." She whispered and pulled slightly back, so she could look into his eyes. He leaned down and kissed her, sweetly.

He'd make up for what he did to her. He didn't know how or when, but he would do it.

He'd make her happy somehow.


End file.
